YOUR VERY OWN HAIR LOSS INTREVENTION

As a former hair junkie, I know how you feel. Why? you may be asking my follicular challenged friend. Because I've been there, I've walked that same filthy, desolate road that chances are, you've been skipping down yourself for far too long.

Sure, I made the midnight runs To feed my Gel, spray, anti tangle, Cream rinse, shampoo, Hair thickener addiction, I know what it's like to look check out the mane on everyone else and feel myself recoil inside with self pity and shame.

YOUR HAIR ADDITCTION IS HURTNG THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

You've changed and the ones who love the most aren't going to enable your addiction forever. Keep it up, with the toupees, come overs and spray on hair. Sooner or later, probably sooner - they're going to stop letting you feed this ugly, self depreciating habit and cut you loose.

You won't end up with just lousy looking hair at best - you'll end up alone.


YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK .

A part of you knows that shaving your melon is the right step to take towards helping yourself. Coming out of that hair thining closet is sapping the life force out of you - and if there's still one active brain cell kicking around in your noggin' you already know this. It's not complicated, it's the door to eternal, ever lasting Bliss.

Well, that and you'll look hotter than you can ever imagine.

So suck it up buster, grab that razor, learn how to do it right - I'll even teach you to take control of your life and and set yourself Free.


MISERY WILL ALWAYS TAKE YOU BACK.

Any recovering addict whose spent time in rehab knows this. Speaking of rehab I have to cut this short because I have group in 20 minutes and I have to stop by for med check and a urine test before dinner. But I digress.

The fact is, having a beautiful, worry free chrome dome is reversible.

If you can't stand feeling more confident, looking and feeling infinitely better - you can always go back to hair. And all the misery that comes along with it. But why would you?

Have you ever heard of anyone choosing to get back on that hair train, after they've transformed themselves into a sexual icon, a pillar of masculine confidence, a towering, empowering force of hope and new found personal strength?


Of course not.


HAIR DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU.

It hasn't for a long...long time. Your thining hair is about as attractive on you as a plate in your lower lip. I know that's harsh but like I said, I've been where you are. And I have the droopy, sagging lower lip to prove it.


It's not brain surgery my friend, or even calculus. It's a razor and some decent shave cream. And that gleaming new bald cantaloupe of yours is going to not only work for you - it's going to empower you, your entire "inner self" is going to become electric, confident and down right sensational.

Plus, it's nice to have pretty people come up and rub your head.

THE SILENCE OF THE TOUPEES

(Bald version)

Hannibal Lecter: Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?

Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your hair piece adhesive"

Hannibal Lecter: I see. (he sniffs deeply) I myself can not. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today. Now, After your father’s murder, you were orphaned. You were ten years old. You went to live with cousins on a toupee ranch in Montana. And…?

Clarice Starling: [tears begin forming in her eyes] And one morning, I just ran away.

Hannibal Lecter: Not “just”, Clarice. What set you off? You started at what time?

Clarice Starling: Early, still dark.

Hannibal Lecter: Then something woke you, didn’t it? Was it a dream? What was it?

Clarice Starling: I heard a strange noise.

Hannibal Lecter: What was it?

Clarice Starling: It was… screaming. Some kind of screaming, like the voice of a hair piece salesman!

Hannibal Lecter: What did you do?

Clarice Starling: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.

Hannibal Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

Clarice Starling: Toupees. The Toupees were screaming.

Hannibal Lecter: They were shearing the spring toupees?

Clarice Starling: And they were screaming.

Hannibal Lecter: And you ran away?

Clarice Starling: No. First I tried to free them. I… I opened the gate to their pen, but they wouldn’t run. They were just piled there in a huge heap, confused. They wouldn’t run.

Hannibal Lecter: But you could run and you did, didn’t you?

Clarice Starling: Yes. I took one toupee, and I ran away as fast as I could.

Hannibal Lecter: Where were you going, Clarice?

Clarice Starling: I don’t know. I didn’t have any food, any water and it was very cold, very cold. I thought, I thought if I could save just one little toupee but… it was so heavy. So heavy. I didn’t get more than a few miles when the sheriff’s car picked me up. The rancher was so angry he sent me to live at the Hair Weavers orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the ranch again.

Hannibal Lecter: What became of your toupee Clarice?

Clarice Starling: They styled him! They glued him down on some mans head.... I don't know...

Hannibal Lecter: You still wake up sometimes, don’t you Clarice? Wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the hair salesmens voice.

Clarice Starling: Yes!

Hannibale Lecter: And you think if you save poor Katherine, you can make them stop, don’t you? You think if Katherine lives, you won’t wake up in the dark ever again to that awful screaming of the toupees.

Clarice Starling: I don’t know…. I don’t know!

Hannibal Lecter: You've been very frank. Thank you, Clarice.

End Scene

EVERY MAN JACK - GREAT BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

Back in January when we bought this money pit - I mean house, I started shopping at a Target because there's one close by.

I came across a line of household soaps and cleaners called "Method" catchy packaging design and dirt cheap. To my surprise the products worked and smelled better than most anything else I had bought in the past. My supermarket also carries Method too so usually something from their line gets tossed in my cart.

Method was the brain child of 37 year old Ritch Viola. Founded on the core principle to put really excellent products into smartly designed bottles and containers and sell it at rock bottom, generic brand price points.When Target picked up the line, his cottage industry became big business and the rest is history.

Ok, why this story?

A few days ago while looking around the shaving section in Target I came across a brand called "Every man shave Gel" for $5.00 I thought two things, it's a cheap knock off of Jack Black products and it's going to be lousy. But for 5 bucks and a free chapstick style lip conditioner attached to the can - I'll try it.

Every Man Jack is a clear gel that transforms into a thick, hydrating , dense cream in seconds. I love it. The shave was hands down as good or better than anything else I've tried and the list of ingredients from what I can tell is top quality.

I Googled the brand and found it's made by the same guy who came up with "Method" and uses the same formula of first rate ingredients and simple, elegantly designed packaging that looks far more expensive then you would expect.It knocked the Caswell - Massey, Billy Jealousy Hydroplane and KOS (a favorite and great bang for your buck too) products out of the ring with exceptional performance resulting in an equally exceptional shave.

If you can't find their products locally you can order online from amazon.com, drugstore.com or their own web site everymanjack.com just to name a few. As far as I can tell all their products are a flat $5.00.Every Man Jack is priced so cheap and works so well you can't afford not to pick up and try it. I can't wait to sample the rest of their shaving line.

List of Ingredients:

Water, Palmitic Acid, Sorbitol, Methyl Gluceth-20, Sorbitan Stearate, Isopentane, Stearic Acid, Glycerin, Sunflower Seed Oil Glyceride, Chamomilla Recutitat (Matricaria) Extract, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Isobutane, Dimethicone PEG-8 Benzoate, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Panthenol, Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose, Tocopheryl Acetate, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Triethanolamine, Hydrozy Propyl Methylcellulose, Methylisothiazolinone Phenoxyethanol.

"Never be bullied into silence.Never allow yourself to be made a victim.Accept no one's definition of your life. define yourself." ~ Harvey Fierstien